You might have discovered lately that you aren’t feeling as positive as you could about yourself. Maybe you’re disappointed in how you look or some of the emotions you feel. Your attitude might slip a bit at times and you find yourself making self-deprecating statements to others.
How can you get out of this rut and reinvigorate how you feel about yourself?
These strategies will help you get back on track and increase your self-esteem:
1. It’s time to take a good, long look at yourself. Although it might be scary or even a bit disappointing, the sooner you do it, the quicker you’ll be able to get yourself back on track.
2. How’s your physical appearance? Consider any changes you’d like to make to how you look. It’s common to go through life phases when you don’t take the care with yourself that you usually do. For many, a new haircut and some extra attention to personal grooming goes miles toward increasing self-esteem.
* Look at yourself with a kind eye and make some decisions on what you can realistically and financially do to improve your appearance. As you probably already know, your appearance is paramount to how you feel about yourself. Improving your appearance most likely means you’ll improve your self-esteem.
3. Recognize your strong points. Although your mind hasn’t been in a place to really notice what you’re good at, take some time now to do just that. Maybe you’re a great cook, wonderful with kids, and the hardest worker at the office. Every single person has strong points and it’s important for you to know what yours are.
4. Remind yourself what you truly love about you. Maybe it’s the way your green eyes shine or your red hair makes your facial features stand out. Perhaps you’re consistent about doing exercise or you’re brilliant at keeping the conversation going. You’re even in awe of the patience you have with others or your willingness to step up and volunteer to help out others.
5. When it comes to you, what are you the most proud of? What do you consider your greatest achievements? We all have something to be proud of. Figure out the things about you that you take pride in to raise your self-esteem a few notches.
* Maybe you keep an organized house or wash your dad’s car every week without fail.
* Perhaps you write a good story or can keep your cool when your kids are acting out.
* Did you work your way through college without any help or support from others?
* Maybe your wife hasn’t ever had to scrape the ice off her car windows because you always do it for her.
* Perhaps you write a good story or can keep your cool when your kids are acting out.
* Did you work your way through college without any help or support from others?
* Maybe your wife hasn’t ever had to scrape the ice off her car windows because you always do it for her.
6. Accept compliments openly. Make eye contact, smile, and say, “thank you” whenever people pay you a compliment. After all, people aren’t going to go to the time and trouble to pay you a compliment unless they believe you deserve it. Relish in the good things about you that others notice. Embrace those positive comments. Doesn’t it feel great?
You can reinvent yourself by taking steps to increase your self-esteem. Look within yourself to evaluate what you need to feel better about yourself. Make changes in your physical appearance, open your eyes to your strong points, and be aware of what you love about yourself. Acknowledge what you’re most proud of and embrace compliments.
As you do these things, your self-esteem will soar. The reinvention of you will be successful and complete!
Don’t you have dreams, visions or plans about things you’d love to have or accomplish? Having the dream is the easy part. Making it a reality can be more challenging. However, the good news is thatthere are proven techniques that can get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Follow this process to bring your dreams to fruition:
1. Turn your dream into a goal. When you have a goal, you have a true target. For a greater chance of success, your plan should have a deadline and it must be measureable.
* It has been said that dreams are goals without a deadline. Give yourself the gift of setting a deadline and things will start to happen.
* You want your goal to be measurable because, if you can’t measure it, how will you know when you’ve succeeded?
* For example, this goal is measurable and has a deadline: “On or before June 1, I will weigh 150 lbs. or less.”
* Make your goal as desirable as possible without being unrealistic. If you feel that your goal is unreasonable, it’s much more difficult to encourage yourself to actually pursue it.
2. Prioritize your goal daily. Read and write your goal each day.
* You give instructions to your brain thousands of times a day. Let your mind know that your goal is something more important than, “I feel like eating a ham sandwich,” or “I need to stop at the grocery store on the way home.”
3. Make a list of negative associations. You probably have negative associations with achieving your goal; otherwise you’d already have it. So make a list of all the negative stuff that pops into your mind when you think about achieving your goal.
* Examine that list and think of ways to work around those challenges.
* Each time you notice a new negative association with your goal, add it to your list. Things will tend to change over time, and new challenges will reveal themselves.
4. Make a list of all the positives about reaching your goal. How would it make you feel? How would it change your life? How would it change your perspective of the world and yourself? What would your next goal be?
* Make your goal as attractive as possible. Envision your life after achieving the goal. This will help to keep your motivation levels high.
5. What do you need to make your goal a reality? Do you need to special license? Do you need a laptop? Is there some knowledge you must acquire? Make a list of what you need and figure out how you’re going to get it.
6. Catalog your available resources. Who do you know that could be helpful? What expertise or items do you need that someone else might have?
* Achieving difficult goals can rarely be accomplished alone; you’re likely to need some help and guidance. Look at the list you made in step 5 and see what you already have in your life that could help you on your path.
7. Track your progress. Measure your progress each day.
* Tracking is critical to making continued progress. You can only adjust your approach if you know how you’re doing. Consider making a chart if that’s applicable to your goal.
In many ways, working toward a goal is like baking a cake: if you follow the recipe, you’ll always pull a perfect cake out of the oven. Likewise, if you follow the above steps, you’ll find it much easier to achieve your dreams.
Perhaps you’re familiar with the book, The Secret. If you’ve tried the book’s recommendations, but didn’t have great results, that doesn’t mean that the book is without merit. To benefit from it, it’s important to understand what it actually provides you.
Who The Secret Automatically Works For
Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to win all the time? Whether they’re vying for a promotion or competing in the weight loss challenge at work, they always seem to come out ahead. For these people, The Secret works great automatically. Why is this?
These people are very good at taking action and don’t have a lot of mental garbage in their way. Mere visualization is enough to get them charging full-steam ahead, and they can’t be stopped once they start.
For the Rest of Us:
If you don’t fall into the “automatic” category above, you may want to take some extra steps to enable the strategies in The Secret work for you.
Imagine you decide you want to lose 50 lbs. When you think about losing that weight, you’re probably torn. On the one hand, it would be great to be so much lighter. You know you’d look better and feel better. You’re sure you’d be healthier too.
On the other hand, you feel a sense of dread. You think about how you’re going to be hungry and probably have to eat stuff you don’t really like. You agonize over all the other times you’ve tried to diet and it hasn’t worked out. You can’t stand exercise, and health food just doesn’t taste good!
Does that sound like you? If so, you’re not alone. Most of us go through this inner conflict when contemplating making major changes.
If your goal doesn’t make you feel 100% positive, you’ll have challenges achieving it without a tremendous amount of motivation and willpower.
So your strategy should start with identifying your beliefs that are stopping you and work on replacing them with thoughts that better serve you. This will help you clarify your goal into one that is 100% in line with what you really want.
You can use visualizing as a tool with this step, too. Keep tweaking your goal until you feel great – through and through – when you imagine it. Then you’ll be ready to take advantage of the power of The Secret.
Make The Secret Work for You
Outside of The Secret, one common exercise you may have heard of is manifesting a blue feather. You’re supposed to simply go about your day with the intention of bringing a blue feather into your life within 48 hours to a week, depending on who gives you the exercise.
This is interesting for a couple of reasons.
Have you ever purchased a car, and then noticed that car everywhere? It never fails. You go out and buy a used Jeep Cherokee, and suddenly it’s as if the whole world has bought one too. You see them parked on your street. You notice one at every stoplight.
This is your reticular activating system (RAS) at work. Each day, you’re exposed to so many stimuli that you can’t pay attention to all of it. Your RAS decides what’s important enough to bring to your attention and what can be allowed to slide by unnoticed.
This is why you suddenly see your new car everywhere – it’s not because you created a bunch of Jeep Cherokees all over the place. The feather exercise is the same idea. If you’re focused on finding a blue feather, you’re sure to notice one when one actually comes into your life.
In the same way, abundance and the path to your other goals are already here. There’s nothing magical about it. You just pay attention.
So here is what The Secret really gives you: It focuses your attention so you can spot situations that are conducive to helping you achieve your goals. The visualizing you learn in The Secret will attune your mind to moving you toward your goal – or manifesting your desires.
Then, however, your responsibility is to follow through on those opportunities. Being 100% aligned with your goal helps you follow through with conviction.
With a little practice, you will work magic in your life. And your well-deserved dreams will be at your fingertips.
Laughter is free, fun, and good for your health. Here are some of the things laughter can do for you, and some ways to bring more joy into your life.
Benefits of Laughter
- Boost your immune system.Research on the connection between laughter and physical health is still ongoing, but some benefits are clear.Laughing helps to fight stress and may enhance your immune response. This may make you more resistant to colds and other illnesses.
- Diminish pain. Laughing is an effective way to decrease pain. Many individuals living with chronic pain report that humor helps make their experiences more bearable. Some hospitals even offer laughter therapy to complement conventional treatments for cancer and other conditions.
- Get a little workout. Every time you chuckle, you boost your heart rate and increase your circulation, which burns more calories than just sitting still. You still need to exercise, but every little bit helps.
- Improve your mood. Hilarity has a powerful effect on your emotional state. A good laugh instantly relaxes your whole body.Plus, those good feelings last, and may make you feel more positive for hours afterward.
- Enhance resilience. Learning to see the humor in difficult events is an excellent coping mechanism. Having a flexible outlook will help you bounce back faster from disappointments.
- Strengthen relationships. Taking pleasure in each other’s company draws people closer together. Laughing together helps us to connect, share happy memories, and appreciate the good things around us.
- Spread joy to others. Laughing is almost as contagious as yawning. You’re bound to have a good effect on those around you if you use humor appropriately. Smiling and laughing also make you appear more approachable so you’ll get plenty of opportunities to cheer up others.
Ways to Laugh More in Your Daily Life
It’s easier to break out laughing when you’re already smiling. Make a habit of relaxing your face into a subtle smile. You’ll boost your mood and start to notice more things to smile about naturally.
- Watch funny movies and other media. It’s always good to learn from the experts. Watch great comedy films, read cartoons, or visit a comedy club.
- Look for the humor in ordinary situations. Cultivate a jovial outlook. Observe your surroundings so that you notice the unexpected and incongruous events of daily life. Practice exaggerating a typical conversation so that it becomes funny.
- Take yourself less seriously. You can be conscientious and light-hearted. Learn to poke fun at yourself and your idiosyncrasies. Keep minor setbacks in perspective.
- Practice being silly. If you have children or pets, join in their games or make up silly stories to tell them. Put a whimsical decoration like a funny calendar or wind-up toy in your office or study to amuse you.
- Share laughter with the people around you. Seek out people whom you find funny. Take a break at work to join in with people who are obviously having a good time. Tell your spouse a funny story from your day when you get home.
- Apply humor to challenging situations. Humor is even more important on tough days. You can recognize a serious situation and act responsibly while considering how your circumstances might appear funny in the future or if it was happening in a movie.
Improve your quality of life by laughing more. Laughter is good for your health and easy to share with everyone around you.
Whatever life may send my way, I know I am up to the task. I am thankful for my resourcefulness, resilience, and strength of character. Because of these attributes, I can make the best of all situations.
I have learned a lot over the years about how to live resourcefully, and I
have many tools at my disposal. My creativity is an enormous asset to me
in resolving any issues in my life. I am adept at finding new solutions and resources.
If I ever feel challenged in a given circumstance, I nourish myself so that I feel stronger and more capable. Whether I need rest, food, a listening ear,
or even just a hug, I promptly see to meeting my needs.
If a situation should resolve in a way that I find less than desirable, I trust
in my own ability to make the best of it.
Resilience is a characteristic that I strengthen by living through all kinds of things, and I continue to cultivate it by opting to face my challenges with a positive attitude.
Regardless of what happens in my life, I can always choose my response. Since positivity is a critical part of the life I want to live, I elect to face situations with a smile on my face. I stand strong and optimistic regardless
of which way the wind blows.
Today, I am thankful for all of the blessings in my life. I cultivate resourcefulness and resilience. Each day, I commit to making the best
of every situation that comes my way.
1. What are some ways I can nourish myself today?
2. What are three major situations in my life that I have chosen to
make the best of, and in which I feel good about my response?
3. How can I continue to increase my confidence in my ability to live
with resourcefulness and resilience?
Experts say the path to wellness begins with forgiving and forgetting. However, you may very well wonder, “How do you go about truly forgiving someone when they’ve grievously hurt you?”
If you’re willing and able to work on your emotional focus and release any desire for revenge, you have an honest chance of attaining your objective. While the memory of what was done will remain with you, you can still “forget” by putting the past behind you and moving forward.
Four vital steps to be able forgive and forget:
Acceptance. The first step to forgiving and forgetting is accepting that
you’ve been wronged. You must accept what has happened and find a way
to live with it. Acceptance is the starting point for moving your life forward
in a positive direction.
Healing. It’s important to give yourself adequate time to heal. The amount
of time you need to experience relief from your pain varies; each person
heals differently. If possible, you may want to try to limit your time with
the person that hurt you while you reflect and heal.‚
Revitalize your relationship. All relationships, whether romantic or completely platonic, need nurturing in order to thrive. If you ignore nurturing your relationship for too long because you’re upset, it’s likely to wither away.
Once you’ve begun to experience the fruits of your healing process, begin spending time together. Go out for dinner, hang around your house or just spend a day together at the park. The location is of little importance, but the company is essential to revitalizing your relationship.
Rebuilding trust. This should be done simultaneously while revitalizing your relationship. The person that hurt you should be working diligently towards making you feel secure in trusting them once again. Be open to their love, affection, and attempts to rectify their wrongs. If you hold a grudge, you may be stuck in this rut for a lifetime.
It’s also important to let the other party involved, especially if it’s your spouse, know that it’s okay to trust you. If their mistake was brutal enough, they’re likely expecting you to reciprocate and get revenge. Make an honest effort to reassure them that you wish to reconcile and start anew.
To move forward, you must be willing to let go of everything you once thought was true and form a new reality together. This is the foundation for truly forgiving and forgetting.
But in this case, it takes two to tango. Both you and the other party involved must be willing to make an honest effort. Though it may seem unfair to ask you to make an effort when you’re the one that’s been wronged, this is the price you pay for freeing yourself from those toxic shackles.
People do change. Trust can be restored if both parties in the relationship are willing to work at it. While the healing process may take time, two people who are willing to reconcile and consistently seek each other’s happiness will experience that happiness for themselves and an intimate relationship that will withstand the test of time.
Do you struggle to believe that good things are coming your way? Cultivating optimism when you’re feeling depleted from life can seem exhausting, or even impossible. But all is not lost! Even in your darkest times, you can look forward with anticipation to a bright future.
Keep these ideas in mind to help you recover your optimism:
1. What does reality indicate? It’s easier to be most optimistic when a positive outcome is likely, but sometimes you need to know when to let go or to make a change.
* Taking positive action to produce a better outcome also boosts your optimism because you cease being a helpless victim of life’s circumstances.
2. Prioritize. Start by determining the most appropriate issues, situations and times to be optimistic about. Instead of chasing after many things, some of which may be unlikely, try focusing your energy on what’s most important.
3. None of us knows the future. How many times in your past has a situation yielded an unexpected outcome? Plenty of times! And many of those were probably positive experiences, too.
* Even if life seems full of situations that look less-than-promising, you never know what may actually end up happening. When you open your mind, you’re in a better emotional position to find optimism. And you’re wise to expect the best, because new possibilities lay around every corner.
4. Stay intent on your own passions. When we do what we love, we feel joy, and joy generates optimism.
* Whether you play a musical instrument, love working on cars, or enjoy pursuing any other activity, be sure to set aside time in your week for your hobby. If you can, enjoy some “me” time each day.
* Practicing your craft, hobby, or passion will help prevent you from hanging your hopes on another person, place, or thing. All the joy you need is within you and you’ll rediscover this moment by moment as you do what you love.
* Following your bliss also helps keep you in the present. The past has already passed. And the future hasn’t come yet. All you have this moment. Don’t you want to make the most of it? When you do, your future almost invariably turns out to be more to your liking also!
5. Open your mind to new possibilities. Maybe you were expecting a promotion that never came. Or perhaps you even lost your job. Now is a great time to explore other opportunities.
* Although you undoubtedly were looking forward to whatever didn’t happen, or were happy to avoid what did, the truth is that the future is in your hands.
* Maybe you always wanted to try freelancing, or making something with your hands for a living. Now is the time to run in that direction. Nothing is stopping you anymore, not even waiting around for a different dream to come to pass.
6. Remember, there’s always help. Whether you make use of your social network or see a licensed counselor, other people are there to support you as you move toward your next adventure.
* If you find yourself really feeling depressed, and nothing seems to work to banish it, you may want to check out professional counseling services. Therapists are trained to walk people through all sorts of life transitions and can definitely assist with yours.
Although Alexander Pope wrote, “Hope springs eternal,” you may also find it wise to recognize where to place your optimism and how to rediscover that feeling when you’re down.
If you open your mind to new possibilities and explore the tips above, you’ll be pleased to find that, once again, you’re looking toward the future with optimism and excitement!
How does a typical day start for you?
Does the following scenario sound all too familiar?
You’re shocked out of a fitful sleep by a blaring alarm. As you crawl out of bed bemoaning the stresses of the day ahead, you turn on the TV or radio, open your newspaper, or click onto the Internet. What do you see? The media delights in engulfing you with stories of horrific events.
As you leave your home, you’re surrounded by harried drivers until you finally arrive at the office, only to be submerged in office politics and other trappings of the rat race.
In a world filled with so much negativity, is it possible to live a positively charged life?
The answer is yes! Consider, for a moment, how this same day could have started if you were focusing on positivity, instead:
As you awaken, you feel rejuvenated by restful slumber. You’re greeted by the melody of the birds singing as they herald the beauty of the new day. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air and you sit up, stretch, and spend a leisurely moment taking it all in.
You spend your commute wondering what exciting opportunities await you as you plan a fulfilling day mixed with working toward your goals and enjoying your favorite hobbies. At the office, your co-workers chat amiably as they settle in for a productive day.
Which morning do you prefer?
The amazing thing is you have the power to choose either one! Try these
life-changing strategies that help you discover your power to keep positive energy flowing on a daily basis:
1. Interact with nature. As simple as it may sound, you can gain a positive outlook by interacting with nature. The beauty of nature is the reality that, regardless of the surrounding circumstances, the course of nature continues.
Sunlight always breaks through the cloudiest days and darkest nights.
Spring brings an annual rebirth of life as new plants peek through the frozen snow.Animals carry on their natural routines as they fulfill their purpose.
2. Connect with your spiritual side. Spirituality can bring calmness, happiness and serenity to your life. These attributes help to contribute to positive energy. Whether you decide to embrace religious beliefs or spend some time in self-reflection, you’ll find that you feel differently when you connect with your spiritual self.Connecting with your spiritual side can truly allow you to be accepting of yourself and your past and willing to commit to turning things around for the better.
3. Count your blessings. As bad as things might seem to you, know that they’re not the worst they could be! It’s important to notice the good things you have in your life.Think of five things each day that you’re happy about or thankful for.Ask yourself how you can turn your current situation around and make it better with the resources you have now.
4. Help someone in need. There’s nothing quite as fulfilling and positive as helping someone in need. Discover the satisfaction that comes from being a Good Samaritan. Remember that when you help someone in need, you’re contributing to making the world a better place because someone will be better off because of you.
5. Change your perception. Your circumstances are what you make them, and make of them. If you look at a situation and expect hopelessness out of it, then hopelessness is likely what you’ll get. Instead, why not look for a positive outcome for each and every event? Give it a try and see how quickly you’ll be able to extract a glimmer of hope from those negative circumstances. Use the tools you’ve been given and make the machine work the way you want it to. Embrace your inner power to make life what you want it to be. Use these life-changing strategies to fill your life with positivity. Then, instead of relying on others to create what you hope to have, you can craft the situation you want for yourself!
Anyone that has to deal with negative people on a regular basis knows just how challenging it can be. All the complaining and ‘doom and gloom’ talk can really sap your energy and patience. At the conclusion of a mere 15-minute conversation, it can feel like the life has been sucked right out of you.
The good news is you can lessen the effects of their negativity by coming up with a plan to deal with this challenge.
Try these strategies:
1. Be objective. It’s important not to take the negative person’s comments personally. Recognize that they’re pessimistic most of the time and take an unhelpful perspective of most things. They can be so absorbed by their negative thoughts that they have a difficult time being tactful.
* In reality, you might feel a little sorry for them. Aren’t you glad that you don’t carry the same negative attitude about life? It’s difficult to be upset with someone when you feel sorry for them.
2. Keep the conversation light. It can be very helpful to steer the conversation to lighter topics, like the weather, movies, or sports to keep things from getting too intense. Some people simply enjoy feeling the emotional intensity that comes from being negative.
3. Avoid rewarding negative talk. Sometimes we inadvertently encourage the negative person by being too supportive.
* Instead, don’t engage fully in the conversation when someone is being overly negative. Instead, be enthusiastic and supportive when they’re being positive. Keep your responses and attention to a minimum when the negative talk is flying.
4. Try not to be alone with them. You won’t feel the brunt of the abuse when there are others to share the grief. Plus, the negative talker will usually be less intense when he doesn’t have the undivided attention of a single person.
* It’s also much easier to excuse yourself from the conversation because you don’t feel like such a critical part of the interaction.
5. Make a concerted effort to limit the amount of time you spend with them. Every positive and negative experience in your life has some effect on you. So take care of yourself and avoid spending more time with them than you need to.
6. Be a positive influence. You might be able to help the person feel more optimistic by being a positive influence in their life. If you think they’re simply lonely, perhaps you could get a group together and all go out for dinner. Or maybe you could suggest a hobby. See if you can identify a specific cause for their negativity and then assist.
7. Eliminate them from your life. Especially if you’re kind-hearted, you’ll most likely want to save this option as a last resort. Sometimes we have people in our lives that don’t have to be there, and it doesn’t make sense to maintain the relationship if that relationship only brings you negativity.
Negative people are a fact of life and something that we all must deal with from time to time. These strategies will help you keep their negative effects on your life to a minimum.